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In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence,
a 22-year-old white male, resident
of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin
patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday.
Lawrence will be charged with lewd
and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and
public intoxication at the
Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday.
The suspect explained that as he was
passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop.
"You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside,
and there was no one around here for
miles. At least I thought there wasn't,"
he stated in a phone interview.
Lawrence went on to say that he pulled
over to the side of the road, picked out a
pumpkin that he felt was appropriate
to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded
to satisfy his alleged "need."
"I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he
commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process, Lawrence apparently failed
to notice a Gwinnett County police
car approaching and was unaware of his audience
until officer Brenda Taylor approached him.
"It was an unusual situation,
that's for sure," said officer Taylor. "I walked up to
(Lawrence) and he's...
just working away at this pumpkin."
Taylor went on to describe what
happened when she approached Lawrence. "I just
went up and said, 'Excuse me sir,
but do you realize that you are screwing a
pumpkin?' He froze and was clearly
very surprised that I was there, and then looked
me straight in the face and said, 'A pumpkin? it midnight already?'"

Joke Sent In by Candy Torres
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